New Year Wish from St. Zélie

On New Year's Day of 1863, St. Zélie wrote to her brother Isidore about how glad she was for her vocation of marriage, despite her desire as a young woman to enter the convent. Instead, she was happily married and was the mother of two little daughters with another on the way. Zélie truly loved her husband St. Louis, and her praise of him flows freely throughout her letters. She was so happy with him that she wished every woman could experience the faithful love of a husband like him.

"I’m always so happy with him, he makes my life very pleasant. What a holy man my husband is. I wish the same for all women; that’s my wish for them for the New Year." -St. Zélie

The wedding of my oldest sister Holly and her husband Louis. I am the bridesmaid in the center, with my sisters Erin to my left and Linnea to my right.

Just a few days after the New Year in 2011, I was standing as a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding. She was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen, and in addition to her gorgeous dress and veil she wore a gigantic smile the entire day. Holly was marrying the man of her dreams! Louis matched her in intelligence, work ethic and sense of humor, none of which are at all easy to do. I was thrilled for her and was honored to be standing right next to her to witness their vows. Then it suddenly struck me- if I was not careful, I would someday be standing up there by that altar saying my vows, and it would be to the wrong man. If I did not end the relationship I was in at the time, I would end up marrying him and my life would be miserable.

Finding a wonderful husband is not easily done, and I don't have a lot of great advice on how to find the right person. Evidently God didn't trust me to do it myself so He threw the right person directly into my path. However, it took breaking it off with someone I had been dating for nearly three years so that I was free to recognize the right man when he did come along. Witnessing my sister's wedding and imagining the life that lay ahead of them allowed me to look ahead to what was in store for me if I did or did not change paths, and that comparison made the decision to leave much easier.

Josephine's very silly Auntie Holly and Uncle Louis

Happy, healthy and holy couples are vital examples to aid in the search for a spouse and can help us to see our own relationships more clearly. Holly and Zélie's choice in husbands have a lot in common. Besides choosing men with the name Louis (though the pronunciation is different), these men shared their faith and values, and respected them immensely. Their shared faith, values and respect allowed these couples to build healthy marriages in which to raise children and which can weather the storms that life inevitably brings. They were inspiring couples, and they inspired me to keep searching until I found a husband of equal value.

I did end up standing in front of that same altar for my vows, but thankfully it was to a truly wonderful and loving man who I am proud to call my husband. I cannot word strongly enough how important it is to refuse to settle for the comfortable, convenient or familiar. God might have another person in mind, if only you are willing to take the plunge! Don't settle for someone who does not love you selflessly, does not will the best for you, does not share your faith, values, hopes or dreams. God does not call anyone to a mediocre marriage- if He is calling you to marriage, He is calling you to a selfless, sanctifying and living-giving relationship which will help both husband and wife learn how to give and receive love in a manner that prepares them for heaven. That is St. Zélie's wish for all single people who are called to marriage, and I imagine it extends to all those who are married but could improve how well they love their spouse (and isn't that all of us?)

Wishing you a happy, healthy and holy New Year in whatever stage of life or vocation you find yourself in!